What in the world am I getting myself into??

Fearless. It's a big word. It evokes almost mystical images of brave knights or commanders of armies. Of revolutionaries who have bravely led a people into freedom without care for their own safety and well-being. Fearless is a word that seems unattainable, impossible for the average human to experience. And yet, over and over, the words "fear not" appear in the Bible. 2 Timothy 1:7 says that God did not give us a spirit of fear, but rather of power, of love, and of a sound mind. I was raised in church but I didn't grasp the possibility and promise of that scripture until recently. What in my life am I allowing to be ruled by fear, instead of the power, love and sound thinking that has been given to me by God? Turns out, a lot.

I've been plagued with fear since childhood. I bet I'm not the only one. It's just that fear sometimes is very, very good at disguising itself as other things: insecurity, the need for control, jealousy, perfectionism, overbearingness and even shyness. At the root of all of these is often fear, holding us back, making us think we are worth less than we are, threatening the ground be ripped from under us. The more I look for it, the more I see fear as the enemy of freedom. But, if we are in Jesus Christ, we are free! As John 8:36 says, "If the Son sets you free, you are free indeed!" Fear, I'm on to you. And I'm tired of putting up with your rule in my life.

Last year, I turned 30. About this time, I kept hearing the word "fearless" in my mind. Do you ever have something pop into your head and you think, "Where did that come from?" This is what it was for me, over and over. I thought about the word, and it felt like it was to become the theme of my thirties. Being fearless is really not about denying the feeling of fear. No, being fearless is about trust. Trust that no matter what life throws me, no matter how shaky I feel and despite the threat of calamitous circumstances, that I have firm footing. I have a solid place to stand. No matter what, God is good and his faithfulness is sure. It's about belief that God is who he says he is and that his promises will stand. I've had some experiences in the last year which confirm to me the significance and truth of being fearless which I imagine I will divulge another day. Now I am 31 and I would like to explore it further. 

This brings me to my current project: 52 weeks to fearlessness. I plan on spending the next year of my life exploring and examining the link of trust and fearlessness. I'm not talking about the type of fear that is a God-given gift to protect us from legitimate danger. I'm talking about the fear that we inflict on ourselves that holds us back from abundantly living our God-given life! Fear of rejection, of failure, of ridicule. Fear of the unknown or of the different. Even fear of success! Some of these jump out to me - I get that familiar "in the gut" kind of reaction...but some may be lurking deep in my life yet to be discovered. But this is war! I'm planning full-fledged campaign to eradicated these things from my life and learn to depend wholly on the Rock of my salvation. Each week I will give myself a challenge - something that pushes up against my comfort zone to the point of discomfort. Something that addresses in one way or another a fear that I have. I want to see if, when faced with my foe, I have a perception that needs to change. Perhaps I will learn a little something - about myself, about the people and world around me - and about my God.

52 weeks.

52 challenges.

This is my journey to fearlessness.

Lord help me.