Challenge #3

Today I shaved a good 20 minutes off of my "get ready" time and did something I don't think I've done once since the 9th grade: gone out in public with zero makeup on. I will be walking around naked-faced for the entire week, regardless of what I have to do or where I have to go, or what blemishes may come my way. Not the tiniest dab of concealer or a single swoosh with the mascara wand. Not even tinted lip balm.


Yikes!


Natalie, my 5-year old said to me, "I'm so glad you're not wearing any makeup, Mommy." Pause. "You look tired."  You have no idea.


Can I still feel good about myself when I'm just me - no touch-ups? Or have I bought in to the marketing ploy that has inundated us as a society, that my worth is at least partially dependent on my looks? Blotchy skin is unacceptable, broken capillaries a sin, and dark eye circles - unthinkable! In reality, I know many women who rarely wear makeup. Do I think less of them? On the contrary, I tend to find them beautiful - and brave - as they are obviously very comfortable in their own skin. As Beth Barone has said, "Makeup is nothing but pretty dirt!" And yet, I find myself a little too attached to this pretty dirt.


As I walked in to church this morning, I found myself avoiding eye contact and minimizing interactions with friends because I know I did not look how they are used to seeing me. In reality, probably few people even noticed my change of face. Perhaps if they did, they were thinking I had a cold or just hadn't slept well last night. It helped that since I can't actually see my own face without a mirror, occasionally I just forgot about it. Once I sat down in the pew however and worship began, an interesting thing happened. I felt authentic, so real - here I was, not putting forth a made-up version of myself, but instead coming just as I am to the sanctuary. Singing "all of You is more than enough for all of me" and meaning it. He is enough for ALL of me. Even when all of me is less than the image I am used to portraying. A scripture just came to mind:


Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.  - 2 Corinthians 3:17-18


I don't want to build up my own image - rather, with an "unveiled face" I want to be transformed into his image! 


Please know, this is not to say I have anything against makeup or those who wear it - I'm certain I will happily reapply the bronzer and lipgloss as soon as this week is over. But it is one of those things that has become a crutch for my self-esteem. Something that I need to be just as okay with avoiding as enjoying. It is a matter of controlling my vanity rather than my vanity controlling me. It is a matter of taking a little weight off of that crutch and leaning instead on my Creator, who gives me sure footing.


We'll see how the week goes, and see what my unlined eyes will see!